Kid of Who?
by Mahersal
Summary: Poems of pure nonsense, hilarity, and stupidity. Told in the view of a child of Apollo.
1. Apollo

**Okay so I decided to re-post these with a little story before to each to make them more entertaining. Thanks to Zenaide 16 for the advise! **

**Please don't take these seriously. It's in the humor section for a reason people!**

**Disclaimer: Percy Jackson? Naw, I only own the silly poems.**

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Maggie Lune bent over her notebook, deep in thought. She had the first two lines down, but was drawing a blank for the rest. She moaned loudly and fell backwards on her bunk, the soft quit cushioning her.

"Why can't I think today?" she muttered, annoyed as she closed her eyes and tried to think. The sound of footsteps made her open her eyes and she saw her half brother, Eric, looking quizzically down at her.

"Whatcha doing?" he asked.

She sighed and sat up again, motioning Eric to take a seat next to her. "Well since I'm a kid of Apollo, I figured it'd be appropriate if I wrote poems about us demigods as kids of gods. Or just some of the gods in general since not all of them have kids." She thought for a minute and scribbled something on the notebook. Eric leaned in, curious with what she had.

"And…finished!" she cried cheerfully. "Number one of thirteen!" She cleared her throat dramatically before reciting her finished work.

"_I'm awesomer than the awesomest _

_As you can see,_

_I'm just so cool,_

_You just wanna be me!_

_My prophecies are accurate_

_And not hard to follow,_

_Bows and arrows aid me,_

_I'm a kid of Apollo!"_

Eric threw his head back and laughed. "That is awesome!"

The cocky Apollo trademark smile crossed her face. "I know."

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**Enjoy the re-do? Hmm? HMMM? XD**

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	2. Athena

**Ellise will show up sometime in **_**The Sun's Song. **_**She is the Athena kid based off my sister, Katie! And on with more of my stupid humor.**

**Disclaimer: Do pigs fly? If they did, Percy Jackson would belong to me.**

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"Cheena? No. Beena? No. Boobadina? Nope. Ugh." Maggie hit her head repeatedly on the picnic table, accidentally hitting her plate and sending food flying all over the place. She smiled sheepishly and waved at her fellow campers as they picked pieces of ham and potatoes out of their hair. Maybe that wouldn't have happened if she could think of rhyming words!

As lunch concluded, Maggie scampered off to the archery range, trying to avoid anyone who still was angry with her for getting food everywhere. Besides, shooting arrows always helped her think.

_Whish! Plunk!_ Those two sounds were her favorite: the sound of releasing the arrow and the sound of it hitting the target. She smiled contented, but soon discovered she was not alone.

"Oh hi, Ellise!" she happily greeted her friend as she approached the archery range.

"Afternoon, Maggie!" Ellise said just as kindly. "How are you?"

"A tad annoyed, actually." She set her bow down and picked up her notebook. "You see, I've been writing poems about the demigods, but I seem to having trouble with rhyming." She handed what she had so far to the grey-eyed girl. "Do you have any advice?"

Ellise laughed. "No, sorry. I've always been terrible at poetry. If you need help with a research paper, however, I'm your girl!"

A light lit up in Maggie's sky blue eyes. "That's it!" she roughly grabbed her notebook back and scrawled something on it. "Volia!" Clearing her throat, she recited her finished piece.

"_Knowledge reigns_

_And the power of books,_

_So it doesn't matter,_

_About your looks._

_Wisdom is might_

_And as you can see-a,_

_I'm far from dimwitted,_

_I'm a kid of Athena."_

Ellise rolled her eyes. "Pretty clever, but I don't think 'see-a' counts as a word."

Maggie shrugged. "No one's perfect."

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**Thus concluding this exciting episode of "Greek god Poems!" Tune in next time when Maggie gets electric. XD**

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	3. Zeus

**Since I have the poems already, these are going to be uploaded fast! HAZAH! *dances***

**I really liked this one. It has this little carefree undertone to it. Mmmm. I'm so happy right now.**

**Special thanks to acast and LiberoYoBoss (I know you! ;) Baha) for reviewing and for anyone else who reviewed this story when it was "done." You guys make my world go round.**

**Disclaimer: So I guess I don't own Percy Jackson. That sucks. :P**

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Thunder rumbled across the clear, blue sky. Maggie looked up, wondering who the culprit that made Zeus angry was.

_Probably Mr. D,_ she thought. _He hates his job and complains all the time! _

She sighed happily and splashed her feet in the lake. Maggie loved hanging out by the boat dock. Even though the ocean was just as peaceful she could see the lake from her cabin and walked over to the dock. So now she sat at peace; no wars, no monsters, and no evil Titan lords to worry about.

"I feel a poem coming on…" Maggie said aloud, smiling as the familiar inspired sensation spread over her like a warm blanket. She picked up her notebook (fortunately, she had a feeling she would need it) and wrote something down. After a few minutes, she put her pen down and read aloud her finished work to herself.

"I'm so powerful

As you can see,

My mood is as electric,

As can be.

Throwing lightning

Can be good use,

As you can tell,

I'm a kid of Zeus."

She beamed happily and looked up at the sky. "Did you like that Zeus?"

The cloudless sky was silent.

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**I hope my effect worked for the last line! *crosses fingers***

**Love you guys. Review?**

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	4. Hades

**Remember Hazel? The demigod based off my sis, Bridget? SHE'S BAAAACK. :3**

**It's Hades turn to bat, WHAT WHAT!**

**Oh, an for the record, I do know it's pronounced HAY-DEES. I couldn't find any rhyming words. :|**

**Disclaimer: If I had a million dollars, I would buy Percy Jackson. But I don't have a million dollars. So I won't.**

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As the sun set over Camp Half Blood, a few campers made their way over to the Long Island beach before curfew. One of them had black, purple streaked hair with a bronze circlet placed on her head like a crown. She shook her fist angrily at a boy with light brown hair who was much taller than she was.

"Jace cut it out!" a girl with dark brown hair and blue eyes said. "She doesn't appreciate that!"

The one called Jace rolled his eyes and scoffed. "You people just don't know how to take a joke."

"Do you want to be sent to the eternal pit of hell?" threatened Hazel in a low voice.

Jace's eyes widened, well aware that she was serious. "No, thank you."

She stared icily at him. "Good."

The blue-eyed girl laughed, trying-and failing-to break the tension. "Aw, come on guys! Hazel is only here for another few hours and I think we should spend it as happily as we can. No more threats." She glanced at Jace and back toward Hazel, who looked back with an innocent I-did-nothing-wrong-I'm-in-the-right look.

"Are you with me Ollie?"

Ollie jumped at the sound of his name and nodded hesitantly, unsure with what he was agreeing with.

"Where's Tempest?" Hazel asked, her plum eyes full of curiosity.

"She went back a few days early. She said her parents needed her on the farm to help out before she went back to school." The blue-eyed girl answered. She suddenly stopped and pulled out a notebook, looking at Hazel like a blind person who could finally see.

"Hades…" she muttered and jotted something down on the paper.

"Maggie? Are you okay?" Ollie stared at her concerned.

"…hmm." She mumbled to herself. "Not a very good rhyme, but it'll do." Her gaze turned up to Hazel. "I wrote a poem about you!"

"A poem about me?" she echoed.

Ollie rolled his eyes. "Maggie feels the need she must write a poem about the traits of every kid of the gods, or even some of the gods themselves." He explained.

"Oh, okay." She turned back toward Maggie. "All right girl, shoot."

Maggie cleared her throat dramatically-receiving some eye rolls-and recited her poem.

"_I sit in my corner,_

_And mourn in self pity._

_My kingdom is great,_

_Bigger than New York City!_

_Wearing all black_

_And a pair of shades,_

_Darkness is power,_

_I'm a kid of Hades."_

"Wow, that is so stereotypical." She stared incredulously at Maggie. "Not all of us are pathetic mopes sitting in the corner bitching about how miserable our lives are. Sure, my life may not be the best thing in the world, but most half-blood's lives aren't that great either. And your rhyming was horrible. 'Hades' does not rhyme with 'shades.'"

"Did you like the 'darkness is power' part?" Maggie asked in a childlike tone.

"Ugh!" Hazel glared frigidly at her and stormed off down the beach.

Maggie rubbed her arm and sighed. "I'll take that as a yes."

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**Exact words from Bridget's mouth. She's very passionate about being a Huntress and a kid of Hades. *nods head***

**Next time on _Greek god Poems..._ things start going missing. (Catch my drift?)**

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	5. Hermes

**Here's another poem! And for those who are interested, I finished chapter 10 for **_**The Sun's Song. **_**I'm just waiting for my beta to go over it. It (hopefully) should be up by the end of the week, so keep your eyes open for it!**

**This one takes place shortly after the war is over.**

**I think my story has too many OCs. …Oh well!**

**Disclaimer: Jace, Tempest, and Maggie all belong to me, as well as this demigod's story of the Second Titan War. However, the original idea belongs to the great Rick Riordan.**

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"Hand it back, Jace."

Jace groaned, annoyed that Tempest caught him sniping her wallet out of her pocket. "Kill joy."

Tempest rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him. "Nah. No, I just know you too well. Besides," she lightly slapped his hand, "I need that money to get my brother, Griffon, a present for his birthday this weekend."

"Okay, okay." He said and lifted his hands in surrender.

"I DID IT!"

Jace and Tempest turned to see Maggie bounding over to them from the Apollo Cabin. Tempest joined in bouncing with her. "Whatcha do?"

"I made…duh duh duh…ANOTHER POEM!" she squealed.

Jace and Tempest groaned together. "Not another one!" Jace protested.

Maggie's smile faded. "What do you mean 'not another one'?"

"No offence," he said. "But your poems aren't that great."

"_What?_" Maggie cried offended. "What are you talking about? You wouldn't know a good poem if it bit you in the nose!"

"I bet I would!" Tempest piped up. "Please don't bite my nose."

Maggie glared daggers at Jace before turning to Tempest, the smile back on her face. "Okay, Tempy!"-Tempest growled and looked fiercely at her for calling her "Tempy"- "This one," she said and looked slyly over at Jace. "Is about Hermes."

Jace froze on the spot. "Oh, shit."

Maggie cleared her throat dramatically and lifted her notebook to read.

_"Pick-pocketing things_

_From people who don't know._

_Traveling as far,_

_As you think you could go._

_To and fro letters,_

_Hopefully not to the harpies!_

_Doctors use my symbol,_

_I'm a kid of Hermes."_

Jace pursed his lips and muttered something that sounded like, "'Hermes' and 'harpies' don't rhyme," before looking at her and giving it an approving nod. "That was better than the last one."

"Woo hoo!" Maggie joyfully jumped up and down. Tempest joined her.

"Point for Maggie!" she cried.

"Zero for Jace!" Tempest finished.

Jace just walked away.

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**Poor Jace having to put up with us. XD Haha, I don't feel bad at all.**

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	6. Dionysus

**Okay, so I found time after my water polo game to write this up. (We lost, by the way. Score was 10 to 2.) Seph is short for Joseph, (another) OC that is based off someone I know. This time, it's my cousin, Callahan. XD This one's for you, cuz!**

**Did you hear about Rick Riordan's new series, **_**The Heroes of Olympus: The Lost Hero? **_**Go to this site and read the first two chapters! www(dot)camphalfblood(dot)com. The password is newhero. IT'S FLIPPING AH-MAH-ZING! *dies***

**You win a cookie if you know where the very obvious referance of something super special awesome comes from! (Hint: Seriously people, what phrase seems very random?)**

**Disclaimer: Me? Own…Percy Jackson. HAHAHAHAHA! …I wish.**

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"Oh, I can't stand them!" Maggie Lune stormed into the armory in raging fury.

"Who?" asked Seph.

"Those Dionysus kids! They give me BROOKLYN RAGE!" she yelled.

"Brooklyn Rage?" he repeated.

"Yes, Brooklyn Rage."

"Okay then. Why do they annoy you?"

"Oh, don't get me started!" she said angrily. "I was having a perfectly nice conversation with one of my brothers, when one of the Dionysus kids just intervened and took him to the pond to 'see something cool.'" She air-quoted as she spoke. "They are just like their dad! Whiny, sniveling little brats who think they can do what-so-ever they want because their dad runs the camp!"

Thunder grumbled across the cloudy sky.

"Fine!" she threw he hands in the air in defeat. Eyebrow cocked, she dug through her bag and took out her infamous notebook. A mischievous smile, much similar to one Jace would wear when he was up to something, took it's place over her mouth as she quickly wrote something down. The smile widened, looking a little on the crazy side as she recited her poem.

"Wine is my friend

I drink all day,

Pinochle's the game,

And I gladly play.

Known for my bad behavior,

I am not the nicest,

I can be snooty

As a kid of Dionysus."

The smiled changed to one of triumph as she looked over at Seph. "How do you like them apples?"

"They taste pretty good," Seph replied.

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**Maggie has a short temper. ^^**

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